September 11, 2001.

It's hard to believe tomorrow is 11 years since that heartbreaking day that changed America and especially New York.
I'm trying to avoid all the 911 tv shows and recaps they've been having on tv for the past week or so. Myself, like so many others, don't need them to remember. So much has been forever etched into our heads and our hearts. 

I was working down in Ramsey, NJ when it happened. My boyfriend at the time worked around the corner from me. We always commuted together every day for work. I remember the first phone call from him, telling me that one of the Twin Towers was hit by a plane. I didn't even really know how that was possible, or what that would mean. You've seen the Twin Towers and wonder how and the hell an airplane could crash into it. Though it was a tragedy and my heart went out to those involved, it didn't really sink in until the second tower was hit. By that time, our phone lines and tv were down and suddenly the town got really quiet.
Ramsey is about 30 miles from Manhattan, and even from 30 miles away the after math of the attacks hit like a sledge hammer to the gut.

So many questions. Why? Who? What was happening to us? When I could finally get a line out of the bank, I called my mother back home. I knew she had to have heard what was going on and was probably freaking out. I can replay that entire phone call in my head still to this day. This was back when cell phones weren't as popular as they are now, so I had to call her business and speak to someone that would put me through. I calmly explained to them who I was, where I was and that I am ok, and I needed to tell my mother that.
When she got to the phone, she was visibly upset. Apparently everyone at her company was all in the lunch room crowded around the tiny tv, watching God knows what. Even I wasn't able to see anything on tv- anything but snow. The news broadcasting in Michigan said that the East coast was under attack. From what? I don't know.... were we really under attack? I didn't see anything outside the window. How were they going to attack us?

It wasn't long before State of Emergency was called and we were sent home. My boyfriend and I drove back upstate to our house. Still not too clear on what was going on. We heard the word terrorists, but didn't know from where or who they were. We went to his fathers house and got a gun to take home with us. Why? I don't really know. Suddenly the world was strange. We felt helpless and everything around us, chaotic.
It wasn't until returning home later that night when we were able to see what happened on tv. Even though if we would have driven a mile down the road from where we worked, we could have seen the smoke coming from the towers. It's just that we didn't want to. I guess we didn't want to believe it.

I remember the weather was perfect for weeks afterwards. I remember thanking God for that. Thanking him so the workers were able to dig through the rubble to hopefully find anyone that could have survived. Chances were slim, but there are always miracles.
People were so nice to each other, too. Quiet, but nice. It softened a lot of us. The pain, shock and disbelief was too overpowering for anything else to really matter. Flags started flying everywhere. Every street, every house, every car. Patrons on the side of the road waving them to all the cars that passed by. At night, people crowded the street corners with candles. Churches held vigils several times a day. Blood banks became overcrowded with generous people wanting to do anything to help. 
Everyone knew someone who was gone. Every day you saw the faces of the loved ones left behind, wondering if they were still alive. The posters went up everywhere, local news in newspapers was replaced with pictures of the missing faces, or those who they had found. Firefighters, police officers... you couldn't help but say a silent prayer for each one of them.
I think a lot of people lost their faith in God that day, just as an equal amount had also found him.

Planes were grounded, the only ones you'd see in the sky were from the military. Even those made you nervous because you wondered if they knew something that you didn't. When they started letting the planes fly again, I remember panicking every time I saw one in the air. Wondering where it was going... Who was flying it... 
It was another painful reminder.

September 11th changed so much for so many. I guess that's what their plans were all along. The city was never safe after that.... and again, that's what they wanted. We keep saying that they didn't win- but didn't they? Security is heightened, and I can't count how many times we've heard the words "terror alert" every year since then. There have been several bomb threat issues since.... and we can't forget the anthrax scare that happened immediately after. The post office around the corner from where I worked was shut down due to having found anthrax in a package. First we worry about terrorists bombing buildings with explosives, and now we worry about anything that is a powdery substance.
We actually had to take a security class at the bank about what to do in a terrorist situation- being that we heard that financial institutions could possibly be on the terrorist target list. What to do if someone came in strapped with explosives, or if we receive a package with powder on it. What to do if we get a threatening phone call or if someone wants to come in to apply for a large loan.
That's when we started screening people. More policies were put into place when it came to dealing with large sums of money.

Every day is a reminder. Every year on that day is a dagger to the heart.

I will never forget. My heart goes out to the families that have lost and to those that are no longer with us. Thank you all to the brave people that went in to help save lives. Thank you to our military for fighting this war- past, present and future. Thank you all, to each and every one of you, that donated yourself, your time, or a piece of you on that day and they days that followed.

"We move forward, but we never forget."

End of August.

I've reached 22 weeks in my pregnancy. By now there is no mistaking that I'm pregnant. On most days, the baby is kicking and moving around so much that I've grown accustomed to the fluttering in my belly.
So many changes are coming upon us. In just a few short months, mine and my husbands lives are going to be changed forever. We will learn even a new side of one another as we both venture off into parenthood.
I'd like to think that It'll all be easy as pie one she comes into this world kicking and screaming. Though I know I must prepare for struggles, hardships and new the learning curve that will be tossed our way. One thing I do know is that we are strong enough as a couple to face the challenges. With that foundation, we can do anything.

It's no secret that our house is up for sale. Today, the realtor came to put the sign in our front yard. The listing has been up since yesterday. This is something that we've talked about for a couple years, but just got motivated enough to do it now. Now that the baby will be here in about 4 months. We're hoping everything will move along smoothly, and we'll be in a new home by the time she arrives.
I'm not even going to entertain the idea of how stressful it is going to be on both of us. Such huge life changes, in such little time.
But, we can do it. Together.

My photography/art related things have been non existent for months. I had some shoots lined up in the beginning of my pregnancy, but due to complications, they were put on hold and eventually cancelled for good. I'm getting out and about now, but still even too much activity leaves me feeling uncomfortable at the end of the day. So I try to just keep things simple.

Today, I finally had down time to get to some much needed art time. There's something about the ability of creating a life inside my own body that has inspired me to be more creative in other areas. I forget how much I need my art time for my own mental wellness.

Growth

Today, I was inspired by Anthony & the Johnsons. Not so much the lyrics of the songs, but by the melody and mood of their music. The kind that seems to reach in and pull out your soul and tap into your sub-conscious. 

Today, was some much needed art time.

Oh, Hello!

Is anyone else ready for an update?
I would apologize for the lack of updating, but I've done that a few times already the past couple months. Wow, has my personal life taken a backseat lately.

Well we found out weeks ago we are having a GIRL! 21 weeks along today, a wee bit over halfway there. I'm so ready for January. My belly has bulged, my energy level has started to rise and the vomiting has pretty much vanished.

Since my photog has been on hold for months, I have been gearing up to do another big shoot. Trying to plan it all out within the next couple of months so I can get it done and over with. The problem is, is that I can't seem to narrow down the theme I want to go with. 

I promise promise promise I will get something good out there as soon as I can! But... ya know.. my mind has been preoccupied with other things as of lately. And I know that before the baby comes, my life is going to be a lot more hectic being that we have taken the next step in contacting a real estate agent and actually getting them out here to start the process of getting our house listed so we can move a bit further upstate.
Yes, we "plan" on doing this before January. It's going to be crazy. And exhausting.

*Gasp* An Update!

I guess I owe an explanation for why this blog has been neglected lately.

Before we went away to Bermuda in April, I found out I was pregnant again. After we returned from our trip, I was so busy getting back into the grind when the morning sickness had begun to invade my life. Except it wasn't just morning. It was all day, every day.
For the last 2 + months, I've been struggling with the first trimester in pregnancy. And of course what Valenta pregnancy would there be without any issues? We did, indeed, have quite a scare there for awhile with a ruthless blood clot that was jeopardizing the pregnancy. The clot (or Subchorionic hematoma as they are medically called) decided to bleed out one night after I was put on a week of bed rest from my doctor. I was given a 50/50 chance in being able to carry out the pregnancy at that point. I was around 8 weeks along. Additionally, my doctor decided to put me on another 2 weeks of bed rest to help get me past my first trimester.

Today I am 14 weeks, and back to work and normal activities. Well, semi normal. I still can't exercise as much as I would like, but I'm up and about getting what I can. The issues have diminished for the most part and I appear to be carrying a healthy baby. In a little over 4 weeks we will find out the gender.

They say your energy level comes up in the second trimester. Well, mine has taken a tumble down a very long, steep mountain. I have no energy. In fact, 7pm is my new bed time. The nausea and vomiting has let up a lot, thankfully. But I still have some nights where I'm tossing and turning due to indigestion and sleeplessness. Thankfully the little peanut let me sleep for 12 hours last night with no interruptions.


I haven't been out much with my camera. Just the other week before I was to return to work, my loving husband decided to take us down to south Jersey for an over night stay with my sister and mother in law. We visited the beach and actually had a really good couple of relaxing days. It was nice to be able to get out of the house and stretch my legs.
I think it's going to be a while still before I'm ready to get out with my camera. The weather has gotten really hot the past week or so, and that just drains me even quicker.

So, that's my news.

05.07.2012

Back from beautiful Bermuda! The cruise went well, a little too relaxing. Although it was an experience, we will never be doing that again. Both of us were more than ready to get off that boat once it got back to NYC.

I do highly recommend NCL to anyone who wishes to cruise in the future. Everyone is super friendly and the food on the ship was amazing! Great entertainment and lots of activities to enjoy.


Got lots of photos to go through, I started with a few on my facebook page, so go check that out.


Trying to sort out everything before returning to work in another couple days.
Back to the real world!